Dear Jeyamohan,
Throughout my life, a fundamental question has haunted me: “What is the meaning of this life?” This question may seem commonplace or trivial. At times, I wondered if I was faking this. However, I truly believe that this question is real. One person’s ghost is invisible to others.
I lost my parents at the age of 6 and became an orphan. An orphanage admitted me and raised me there. Sexual abuses, violence, and insults are very common in my early life. I saw every darker side of humanity. Now, I am a family man who operates a respectable business. Still, the memory of those days haunts me, prompting me to develop this philosophical inquiry.
Now I can only concentrate on my immediate material existence. Whenever an idea of other things arises in my mind, I immediately ask myself, “What is the use? What is the purpose altogether?” Immediately I lose my interest and draw back.
Sivanandam
Dear Sivanandan,
Yours is not a philosophical quest, not an intellectual pursuit in any way. Actually, you are in a condition of mild depression resulting from your childhood trauma. This kind of childhood trauma and depression is not very uncommon in our society. You developed a cynical mindset to justify your depression. Depression is a fundamental mindset that develops necessary ideas to support it.
Understanding this as a simple expression of depression is important to you. This is not a philosophical quest. What is the difference? A real philosophical quest will be vibrant and active. I often use an allegory, likening it to Sherlock Holmes investigating a crime. Every moment is filled with questions and logical configurations. Holmes is actually moving from one revelation to another, so he is always energetic and happy. He is continuously learning new things about human minds and objective work. If an idea makes you idle, it is not a quest; it is a mental ’state’ that makes you static.
Jeyamohan
