Dear J,
I read your response to the question you were asked.
Let’s assume that I am the one who asked that question. Let’s assume that is my problem. Would you agree to me divorcing that woman? Could you please share why that advice wasn’t given to that man?
K
Dear K,
The first question is who are you?
‘A,’ who wrote that letter, did not describe himself as someone with a keen taste, a search for knowledge, or introspection. He has a taste that is a little above the ordinary level. His wife has ordinary taste. That is the difference. Is it appropriate to end the relationship for that reason? If they break up, his wife and family will immediately start to seem more important to him than that taste. Life will become miserable. The family environment and the love that his wife provides are all still important to him. However, he finds it somewhat challenging to sacrifice his taste for the sake of that love. It is not a big problem. Even if a person loses their taste like that and becomes ordinary, there is no big loss.
But if an intellectual, a person with an inner journey, a person with the power and opportunity to make real achievements, perishes like that, it is a loss. Both for him and for society, the loss is profound. The intellectual pursuits and personal spiritual growth of an individual are more important than just living their lives.
A person should not lose their growth under any circumstances; losing it is like death. If you are such a person, you should try to explain your position to that wife. You should express your determination. Many times, men do not have that clarity and determination. So they chew the words. Wives take advantage of that oscillation. Nobody can enslave a determined person. If a person says that ‘I am compromising,’ it means that “I am not determined.’
If the woman continues to behave that way despite his firm statement, then separation is the only option. Ultimately, neither a man nor a woman can achieve anything by sacrificing their soul.
Jeyamohan
