Dear J
My problem is loneliness. You have written about the concept of “endless loneliness” in several places. I came to feel that kind of loneliness at an early age. I find it difficult to engage in lighthearted conversation with others, and I avoid attending gatherings for young people. I skip many meetings and events because there are so many people. This also prevents me from attending the classes you arrange.
V
Dear V,
We cannot adequately describe loneliness from a single point of view.
There are two types of loneliness. Our intellectual loneliness is one example. Another is our emotional isolation. Actually, intellectual loneliness is our virtue. It arises because we take responsibility for our own actions and have original thoughts. But our personal inadequacy causes emotional loneliness. Our inner inferiority complex is the root cause.
Emotional isolation is a psychological issue. We undervalue certain aspects of ourselves, like appearance, voice, speech, intelligence, education, job, caste, and family background, assuming others will notice these imperfections. Consequently, we shy away from interacting. Loneliness is merely a symptom of this problem. We need to pinpoint and eliminate the root cause of this issue.
To achieve this, we must break free from our stifling isolation with a certain cruelty towards ourselves. Without our violent efforts, that emergence cannot happen. We cannot expect it to happen automatically. Often, a few simple exercises can break through those hesitations. I have seen that when a person achieves stage speaking training, their speech becomes clearer, and they start interacting naturally with others. It gives them self-confidence, and slowly they can come out of their trap of loneliness.
Everyone is required to complete the training. But when one achieves a small feat and discovers one’s merit or talent, one’s nature changes. A little self-satisfaction is enough, and he will start interacting naturally with others.
Intellectual isolation, which is synonymous with knowledge, is unavoidable. We should use it to expand our comprehension. It is essential, and it arises from our separation from those outside our realm of knowledge. Intellectual solitaries find pleasure in that seclusion. It will provide them with solace. Within that seclusion, they achieve their milestones.
Jayamohan